I still can’t get over the feeling of freedom that I now have where science and discovery is concerned.
When I was still in the church I was always fascinated by science, but there was a mental cage. I was always obligated to “bring all thoughts captive to Christ.” Any thought, scientific or otherwise, that opposes scripture is to be dismissed as wrong because, obviously, God knows what really happened. [sarcasm]
A photo from NASA. Were YOU there? Well God was.
When a person believes this way, they are instantly at odds with the scientific community. When you’re at odds with most of those in science, there can be very little comaraderie with someone in a conversation about, say, biology (unless that person is a fellow 6-day Creationist). Even if the subject of evolution doesn’t immediately come up, the Fundy often feels obligated to be that “ambassador for Christ” and to therefore take a stand for God in the areas that are seen to challenge God the most (like science).
Eventually something will come up in a conversation that tips the other person off that something is *not quite right,* and the debate begins. When you’re a fundy who is very interested in science, very often your efforts are put to use in defending the Bible. Considering the glaring holes here, this exhausting task often saps the Christian’s energy for ACTUAL discovery. For all intents and purposes, the Fundy does very little discovering and does more studying on being a Creationism advocate.
You can perhaps imagine my relief upon deconversion. I don’t have to bring my thoughts captive to any being in the sky. I don’t have to try to rationalize irrational beliefs. I don’t have to dress up bad evidence. I can look at the wonder of the universe and not feel obligated to think about God and to thank him for it. I can study biology without ignoring the evidence of evolution. I can allow my kids to watch Cosmos without feeling guilty for dishonoring a god and without feeling obligated to qualify or refute practically every statement in the show that would go against some Bible teaching or another.
I’m free to think, free to explore, free to discover.
It’s good to be free.