“She Provoked Him”

So goes the common line when talking of rape. “She provoked him” by doing x, y or z. If you use that line with me, I will probably very politely ask you if knocking you through a window for “provoking me” with such a stupid statement would make my actions any more or less YOUR fault.

When you stare at me in shock, I will then answer my own question and say,”No, because you are not responsible for me showing less than the amount of self restraint than is taught in kindergarten.”

You see, a woman is not to blame for a rape.  Her dressing or acting “provocatively” is not to blame for him forcing himself on her. If she is being publicly lewd and naked, then she perhaps ought to be fined and brought to the police station for public indecency. Period.

There is no excuse for rape. None. Nada. Zip.

There is no blame on the victim. None. Nada. Zip.

If she is tempting you deliberately and then suddenly saying “No,” then you should perhaps be “provoked” into leaving her alone and not being toyed with, because that’s not good behavior on her part, and you shouldn’t get yourself into a relationship with that.  If she is “dressing immodestly” then decide whether you want to try to be with her in any way. If so, make an appropriate advance and see what happens. If not, then don’t.

“Well she shouldn’t have been walking by herself.”  Yeah? And you shouldn’t be making excuses for psychotic people. You, by your own reasoning, put yourself to blame if I was to hypothetically knock you through a wall for being a jerk.  You shouldn’t be a jerk. But I won’t knock you through a wall, because I remember my kindergarten classes, and I have more restraint than that.

I’m a civil person. I belong in society. If a guy makes himself look appealing, that’s not my cue to drug him and do what I will to him.  If he makes advances toward me, that does not negate his right to say “no” at any given time. If he taunts me by making advances and then witholding, advancing and witholding, then I’ll probably not tolerate that for too long. It’s manipulative, and I would likely become frustrated and call it quits.

But to become violent and force him?  That’s all on me.  That’s not him.  Now things have crossed a MAJOR line, and that line was crossed by me and me alone.

There are no excuses for rape.  There is no blame on the victim. Saying that there is might be maddening, but it would not excuse me punching you in the face. Likewise, there is no excuse for rape, supposedly “provoked” or otherwise.

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